weight loss

That picture literally has nothing to do with this post. But I love a good selfie as much as the next person. This post is an update about my weight loss journey so far. DUN DUN DUN!!!

The first week I rocked it. I was an animal! I was so disciplined. That discipline payed off in a big way. I lost 11 pounds and 9 total inches. What?! The second week not so much. I gained 2 pounds. Wah wah! You know what was weird though? I still lost another 2.75 inches. Explain that science.

So what changed from the first week to the second? In short I got lazy. I went from being strict and on my diet to lax. I went back to work and didn't prepare my food before hand. Before heading out the door I would try and scramble to get something together but it never really happened. Which then forced me to get take-out. Yeah I was forced. I stopped drinking the water like I should. I could go on but really I cheated. I am a cheater! UGH! The sad thing is that I just cheated myself. I traded in my long term goal and happiness for a tiny moment of fake happiness.  

You would think that after the success of the first week I would be so pumped and rock my second week. What was the difference? What can I say? Old habits die hard. Real hard. I have learned already that weight loss is an extremely emotional thing for me. There have already been many feelings that have come up. Anger at myself and at others! Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Joy! Happiness! But mostly anger. HA! There are things that I clearly need to work out. I am not sure how to work through them but I will figure it out. My hope is that the sweat and tears will be cathartic and help me to wrap my head around the emotions. The funny thing is that I think I deserve better than the body that I have created for myself. I deserve to be able to chase my kids around the yard. I deserve to go on hikes, walks and runs. I deserve to be strong and healthy! That has to be a step in the right direction! The next step is knowing that I deserve more. I need to know it deep down in my heart.

Any helpful and kind tips and advice are so welcome!