weight loss

That picture literally has nothing to do with this post. But I love a good selfie as much as the next person. This post is an update about my weight loss journey so far. DUN DUN DUN!!!

The first week I rocked it. I was an animal! I was so disciplined. That discipline payed off in a big way. I lost 11 pounds and 9 total inches. What?! The second week not so much. I gained 2 pounds. Wah wah! You know what was weird though? I still lost another 2.75 inches. Explain that science.

So what changed from the first week to the second? In short I got lazy. I went from being strict and on my diet to lax. I went back to work and didn't prepare my food before hand. Before heading out the door I would try and scramble to get something together but it never really happened. Which then forced me to get take-out. Yeah I was forced. I stopped drinking the water like I should. I could go on but really I cheated. I am a cheater! UGH! The sad thing is that I just cheated myself. I traded in my long term goal and happiness for a tiny moment of fake happiness.  

You would think that after the success of the first week I would be so pumped and rock my second week. What was the difference? What can I say? Old habits die hard. Real hard. I have learned already that weight loss is an extremely emotional thing for me. There have already been many feelings that have come up. Anger at myself and at others! Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Joy! Happiness! But mostly anger. HA! There are things that I clearly need to work out. I am not sure how to work through them but I will figure it out. My hope is that the sweat and tears will be cathartic and help me to wrap my head around the emotions. The funny thing is that I think I deserve better than the body that I have created for myself. I deserve to be able to chase my kids around the yard. I deserve to go on hikes, walks and runs. I deserve to be strong and healthy! That has to be a step in the right direction! The next step is knowing that I deserve more. I need to know it deep down in my heart.

Any helpful and kind tips and advice are so welcome! 

8 weeks

This is going to be one of those posts about weight loss and feelings and stuff. Just warning you! Yesterday I started a 8 week weight loss program with a personal trainer. She also happens to be my friend which makes it super awesome. This has been a long time coming. I don't want to get too into the details and the emotions that brought me to this place but I will say that it got to the point where something had to give. I was clearly unhappy with my health. I haven't felt good for a long while. I had my heart checked and had a super basic physical. There was nothing wrong but my weight. Nothing wrong but the way I have been treating my body. I have yo-yo dieted for my whole adult life. Up, down, up, down but never really making any real changes. 

So I am committing to 8 weeks. 8 weeks of making the right choices for me. It should be awesome, right?! I am still trying to convince myself. Something has changed in me though. Something has clicked. Usually when I start a weight loss program I get antsy. I start worrying about what I can't eat. That is a bad place to be! This time is different. I feel calm.  

You know the craziest part? I am less worried about my weight and more worried about how I am going to feel. I want to feel good physically at the end of this. That is not to say that I don't intend to weigh myself. I am going to be weighing myself once a week and doing my measurements the entire 8 weeks. There is something about having the number on the scale go down that is super motivating when you really want to give up. Not too mention that when you send your weight and measurements to a good friend you want those numbers to go down every week. Holy motivation yo! 

Would anyone be interested in updates? I love reading about peoples weight loss journeys!

Peace out!  -AnneMarie