I have spoken before many times about the fact that I work 40 hours outside of the home. I am a manager at a local retail store so not only do I work 40 hours but I also work a weird schedule. I have to open and close the store depending on the day. Ugh. I complain a lot about it but in reality it isn't a bad job. I work with great people and love most of the customers that come in the store. That being said I miss my kids! That is another fact that I have shared about a million times it seems like. It is rough on the days that I close especially. The kids go to school at 830 in the morning and I work at 1230 and stay until after nine. On those days they are already in bed when I get home so I see them in the morning and that is about it. Well then and when I sneak in their room at night to watch them sleep. Which I do and resist the urge to wake their butts up to play!
It is pretty rough some days to be a working parent. I do have a couple pieces of advice for other parents out there that work outside the home and miss their kids. They won't solve every problem but they will be a little bit of help.
1. Be present. That means put down the phone, tablet, laptop, book etc and be with them. This is a hard one for me! I love instagram, twitter and dots on my phone. However, Nicco drew a picture of me with my phone in my hand last year for school. That was a HUGE eye opener for me. Since then I have been trying to be more present. I still struggle with it! I made a new rule that when I am with them I only check my text and upload to instagram- that means no browsing it! Really they want our attention most of all. They want us to listen to their 15th story about mine craft and my little pony's. You can't listen if you are looking at pictures on instagram of other peoples kids.
2. Make the time with them count. This idea goes hand in had with number one. I don't mean that every moment you have with them has to be perfect. Believe me the kids and I have very different ideas about what is the perfect moment. With homework, housework, soccer practice, swim lessons and all the other things that fill up our schedule it makes having special moments together difficult. All you can do is try! Make memories with them. Go to a museum or a new park. Take them outside and play catch. There is always something free and family friendly going on in our area and probably yours too! Make a tradition of going on a family walk at least once a week and take a new route every time. Do something! Our kids current favorite thing to do is to walk to the corner store and get a treat. And we make a memory every time we go!
3. Do one little thing each day. That one little thing for me is to draw a picture and write something encouraging on their lunch bags. Every day! Do one little thing each day to let them know you are thinking about them. It can be writing a note and hiding it somewhere new each day for them to find, leave post-its on the mirror telling them you love them, having a dry erase board where you can all leave messages to each other. Just something! Figure out what works for your family and do it. Once you figure out what you want to do it will only take a minute or so a day. That time will be well spent.
4. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty for working to take care of your family. You are doing what you should be doing! I have been struggling with this one. It is hard to not feel guilty for working when the kids cry every time you leave. I had a little half epiphany the other day about it. I really am doing what is best for my family at this moment. We need money to survive. And right now I need to work outside the home to make that money. And I shouldn't feel badly for doing what I need to care for them. There is a flip side to this as well! Don't feel guilty if you love working outside the home! If you love your job and it brings you joy then you shouldn't feel guilty about that. Nobody can decide what is best for your family. Only you can! At times what is best for you is also best for them. I know plenty of parents that prefer to work outside the home. They don't have the desire to be a stay at home parent and that is okay too! Either way you shouldn't feel badly for your choice.
That is all I've got for now. Do any of you out there have any advice for me? I need some!
Peace out! AnneMarie
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